The power of words

Many things have been said about the power of words in our decisions, in our feelings, in our lives... "If you believe you can live a life of victory, declare it with your mouth!", for example. It is possible, considering that our mouth and our acts show what we have inside, and Jesus himself recogized that.

Some years ago, after two experiences referred about love that honestly I don't want to remember, I promised myself not to say "I love you" to a man before he had taken the initiative. I almost can hear many cries of protest saying that we are not longer in the Middle Age, we are in XXI Century and we have to live according to that. Concerning this matter, I highly recommend Elisabeth Eliott's fabulous book "Passion and Purity", about how important is to submit our love life under God's authority.

And now I want to explain why I took this decision. I said "I love you" to two men in my life, and both experiences were a disaster. There isn't a better way to describe it. But the worst part wasn't the men's reactions, the final results, but how I felt inside after that. Even if we are told everyday to do what it feels good to us, at last, it didn't work for me. It's not good for self-esteem to acknowledge that, if I didn't make any movement, I wouldn't have the men by my side, and at last this horrible thought shows up: "I am not worth the pursue, the dedication of a man".

So with that decision, I have to admit that I haven't regretted it. Not for a single minute. We are flesh, and we have feelings, and it's normal to show signs of enthusiasm, anger, despair, joy, depending of the situation; it's not only normal, but good. But trying to have a control over them. Even if this can be extremely difficult concerning love, I think that one of the best ways of submitting those feelings is to watch our words. Keep our mouth shut. Saying "I love you" is not something nice to say in certain circumstances, or we just want something from other person. When we use those words with no caution, the comsequences can be terrible.

Recently, one of my friends and I put things on the table, or more precisely, our feelings about each other. He said that I showed some feelings for him beyond friendship, and at some moments I felt that he wanted me to "be honest" to him saying how I really feel about him. I didn't. I remembered that promise, and even now I still have not said anything in those terms, less to him. And I don't regret what I did. It wasn't the right time, and I knew that for sure. So I will keep my mouth shut until that time comes, maybe with him, maybe with another man, the one God has prepared for me since eternity.

That converstation was very enlightening, and of course I appreciate his honesty, not every man do that. He reminded me -I always have known- why we couldn't consider anything beyond friendship, and I understand. Another reason to keep the mouth shut. And the heart quiet. And even with that, I appreaciate his friendship, it has impacted my life in ways I never considered possible. That's what we have, and that's what I am thankful for. I don't know if I ever will tell him all this, but now things have to stay the way they are.

After more than four years, I have kept my promise, not only to keep my heart, but also because God wants to protect me and guard my heart for my future husband. I will say "I love you" only to a man that, apart of those meaningful three words, tells me and demostrates me that he won't let me go. It's a way to honor that man even before I met him, and I know he'll appreciate it in the right time.